I am very sad. Two weeks ago, my cousin Sarah had a stroke and died. She was 35, two years younger than me.
As kids, Sarah and I, (along with her sister Rachel) would spend weeks in the summer staying at my grandparents house, playing and doing the things that ten year olds do on a farm. We sat around the campfire at family reunions. We played cards and games, talked and argued. I always looked forward to seeing all my cousins at holidays and family gatherings, but Sarah and Rachel were special then because they were closer to my age.
As adults, Sarah and I also did stuff together on occasion. We still sat around the campfire at the family reunions and visited during the holidays. But, we also went to bars and restaurants, Sarah always knew the best bars. We went to Cedar Point and shared an automobile accident. She would cut my hair and I would fix her computer. But mostly, we just talked. Sarah was just plain easy to talk to and always interesting.
In recent years Sarah moved to Atlanta to build a life for herself there. She opened a salon there and infused it with her character and personality. It was a place where she was at home and happy. I’m sure her clients felt happy and at home there as well. (A client remarks on Sarah’s passing)
But, the most important thing about her move to Atlanta was meeting her husband, Kevin there. I’ve only met Kevin a few times, but the one thing that I know about him is that he made Sarah happy.
I haven’t seen Sarah as much in the last few years. Atlanta is far from Michigan and she disliked flying. She came to fewer and fewer holiday functions. Despite her many invitations to visit Atlanta, I didn’t go.
That is until September, when I went to the php|works conference in Atlanta. One of the reasons I wanted to go to the conference was to be able to see Sarah. After the conference, I stayed with her for a couple days.
Sarah showed me her Salon and I could see how much she loved it. She introduced me to the dogs that she saved. We went out to eat and visited the local Atlanta attractions. But mostly, we talked. We talked about family, dating, kids and careers. We talked about her writing, the gym she liked, the church she had joined and the things she wanted to do.
Sarah tried very hard to convince me to move to Atlanta. I think she felt that all I needed to do was to move there and I would meet the love of my life and l could live there happily to the end of my days. After all, she did.
There is so much that I still want to do with Sarah. I feel like I’ve always taken it for granted that that she would be around for us to “do that later.” I guess not. I’ll miss Sarah.
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Hi. I’m very sorry to hear about your cousin. She sounds like a very good person and she cared about you very much. Who we are is, in part, formed by the people who touch our lives. We can honor them by doing what they would have done — showing other people in our lives that we care about them too. It’s never too early or too late to do that.
I’m sorry for your loss, Jeff. It’s nice read you had a chance to spend days together one last time and that she succeeded in setting up the desired lifestyle she wanted to live. I think it’s very important that she was happy and satisfied when she left.
It’s always hard to loose somebody who truly understands us. The fact that she was one of those people who really appreciate and enjoy their lives just makes it harder. I wish you well.
I meant “nice to read”, sorry.
I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like she made the lives of those around her better, and that is, I believe, the best thing we can do for one another. You honor her with this post.
Jeff, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Sarah sounds like a great person to have known, and I know that it can be rare at times to make a real connection to someone inside your own family, as odd as that seems.
It’s really good to hear that you had some time together in Atlanta at last. Too often, I think people skip things like “I have a layover at the airport in your city, you should stop by while I’m in town for 2 hrs” … as you say, there always seems to be a more convenient “later.” Very glad to hear that you added on those extra days to your Atlanta trip.
Hey Jeff, sorry to hear about your lose. I have to agree with Ed. It sounds like she lived the kind of life we should all strive to.
My sincere condolences Jeff, I know any loss is a terrible one, but I would like to say, that if you wish to do one last thing for your cousin, then try to give as much time as you can to her husband – knowing what it’s like to lose a wife, just knowing someone is there to talk to, is worth the world; he will appreciate it, and I’m sure, so will she.
- Davey
I’m really sorry for your loss, Jeff. I know that words don’t help much in these circumstances (I’ve lost a very young cousin too, recently). I’ll remember her in my prayers.
Thank you for your comments. I appreciate it.
Hello,
I am the mother of Leon, someone Sarah dated several years ago. Leon’s father and I both loved Sarah, and she and Leon were able to keep in touch as friends. Last year Leon and I were in Atlanta for conferences, and we were able to spend some time with Sarah and her new husband, Kevin.
We will be donating to Paws but would also like to send flowers for the Memorial in Ann Arbor. Can you please give me a physical address (we are in West Virginia) so we can send today; appreciate your help.
Thanks,
Grace Gmeindl
I stumbled upon your blog after Googling Sarah’s name – I went to h.s. with her and only just learned that she has passed away.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss and want to tell you that you’ll be in my thoughts. I felt like I should comment because I proceeded to read the rest of your blog, and as a techie, wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed it.
Take care!
Becky